If I could work on one thing about myself as a human being it would be to be more caring, more kind, and compassionate...  not only to those that I love and care about, but to those I don't know.  I don't believe that "love" will change the world.  I think that to tell people to love everyone they come across, is a hard concept to grasp.  Instead, I have come to believe that simple everyday kindness and caring has the ability to change a day, a week, and sometimes a life.

I have heard, and read, in many places that love will change the world.  People have a hard time grasping how you can love someone that you don't know though.  Some people have a hard time even loving themselves, much less strangers.  Instead, I think that as people we should show kindness and concern when people are in need.  We should show compassion to those that we don't know, and be less quick to judge.  I think that eventually kindness, caring, and compassion translates into love.  But it is a mighty thing to tell someone to "love everybody".  It doesn't seem quite as mighty to show caring and kindness, although the effect can be the same.  

Less and less people are more afraid to reach out.  Afraid to help the stranger stranded on the side of the road because they don't know them.  Afraid to talk to someone who looks lost in the city.  Afraid to reach out to someone in need, that they don't know.  Humans have conditioned each other to be afraid of our own kind.  It makes me sad to think that they days of looking out for each other, whether we know the person or not, are fading away.  In a world where we have every opportunity to be more connected, the human race is less connected than ever.  I know that this is life.  And, I understand that things will never be perfect.  People will still hurt, people will still fight, and a lot of people will find it hard to reach out.  

I do believe though, that if we try to make a small difference we can.  And, that is better than no difference at all.  Lately I have been trying to make a more conscious effort to do the little things...  To offer my seat at the cafe when I'm just studying (and done eating)  to an older couple when there is no where to sit.   To hold the door for someone, even when they aren't exactly right behind me.  To make eye contact with a stranger, and smile.......

And, it seems, that not only do these strangers appreciate the little things.... but it makes me feel better about me and my day.  It often feels even better to give help, than to receive.

".. joy and sorrow are inseparable... together they come and when one sits alone with you... remember that the other is asleep upon your bed."

This quote struck a cord with me today.  With a year that has been filled with so many ups and downs, so many sorrows and so many joys, I felt that this quote is a reminder that we must keep with us as we go on life's journey.  I wouldn't have gotten through the hard times this past year, if I didn't have hope that joy would find it's way back into my life.  Just as much as we have to have  hope that joy will come back into our lives, we also have to prepare that life will through hard times are way.  As we get older, it seems that "life" happens.  Our hearts are broken, we are faced with disappointments, and we see the ones we love leave this world.  Nothing can ever fully prepare you for these things, but, if you understand that all of this is apart of the life cycle, I do believe that it can give you hope.

I think that sorrow is necessary in this world, just as joy is necessary.  To experience deep sorrow can make you a more tender human being. Before I lost my Dad, I "felt bad" for someone who lost a loved one, but I couldn't truly relate to their pain. Now, when I hear of someone losing a loved one, my heart literally aches for them. It makes me want to reach out because although their journey of grief will be different from mine, I can understand.  It is hard to relate to a deep sorrow unless you have experienced it yourself.  It can help you to learn to appreciate what you are given in this life, and to truly appreciate the times of joy. And, experiencing sorrow can make you a more compassionate and better human being, as long as you don't let your sorrow consume you.  

I am not saying that I would wish a deep sorrow on anyone.  But, I do believe that it is apart of this life.  We are not perfect, as is nothing in this life. I think that what matters is the outlook you have on life and the way you live your life.  You cannot control all that life will throw your way; you cannot control it when someone you love becomes ill; you cannot control all of life's personal disappointments and failures.  What you can control though, is how you respond to it.  It is easy to be bitter with life.  It is easy to say "why me".  As you live your life keep in mind that we are all human. And, that as humans we are all going to experience the same raw emotions in life.  Everyone's life takes a different course.  I believe that the one thing that ties us together is our ability to feel; the ability to feel joy, pain, sorrow, and happiness.  And, we have the ability to respond to our emotions; to rise up, or to fall down; to more forward, or to become bitter.

My wish for you is that when you find yourself in times of trouble, you move forward into the light.  And, that when you find yourself in a state of bliss, you treasure every minute.  Life is too precious to live life bitterly, and it is to precious to not appreciate what we are given.  Know that with sorrow, will come joy.  Also know, that your happiness in life in life is not about the amount of tough times you have or had not had.  It is about your state of mind, and how you choose to respond to the difficulties thrown your way. Choose to push forward when sorrow comes your way, and I promise you, that joy will wake up.

Life is beyond stressful sometimes right now.  With Mark and I both graduating in May, not only is the job hunt on, but so is the process of making sure that our" separate lives" come together in three months.  After over a year of distance, we are both very ready for it to end.  The struggle right now is us both finding jobs that we will love, or help us advance our career goals in the same city.   It sounds easy, but it's not.

I'm probably untraditional when it comes to the whole marriage / relationship thing.  Poor Mark has been blessed with someone is not very good at the "homemaker" things.  I don't cook.  I don't get joy of out cleaning. And my idea of ironing is throwing the clothes in the dryer.  Sad, I know.  On top of my lack of household skills, I want a career that at first will require long hours, weekends, and even some traveling.  What makes it hard, is that getting into sports information / administration is not a general field.  It is very, very specific.  And, also very competitive.  The jobs that are available for me are in college towns scattered across the US, where as Mark's job opportunities lie in more metropolitan areas.  Of course there a lot of colleges in Nashville, Atlanta, and the areas we would love to live; but it seems these universities don't have any internships or available right now. My lack experience makes it harder for me to be picky about where I take a job too, considering I will only have 4 months of sports information experience when I graduate and most schools want at least one or two. That's why I have to look for a post-graduate internship and make almost nothing!  Oh dear...

 We only live once. And, life is short.  I want so much for Mark & I to be able to pursue not only our dreams as a couple, but our dreams as individuals.   It's such a hard balance to find. Mark's dreams are my dreams, and vice versa.  One of the blessing of being in such a wonderful relationship is having the unconditional support of someone who truly cares about you.  I know that if the job hunt gets stressful, or interviews don't go well and I get discouraged, Mark will be there to pick me up and push me along.  And, I hope I can do the same for him.   I know that both of us are willing to make sacrifices for each other, but everyday as I check my e-mail for responses to my job hunt, I hope and pray that something will come up for me in a city where Mark has opportunities also.  I don't want to have Mark follow me to a city where he doesn't have  the same career opportunities, and I know that he doesn't want to do that to me either.  

The thing is, I know my life wouldn't be the life I want without Mark in it.  I was reminded today through one of my favorite singer/songwriters, that although our careers and goals are very important, so is experiencing life with the person you love.  The song is by Joe Purdy, and it's called Mary May & Bobby.   It's a beautiful song that talks about letting the one you love go to "fly away" and experience life and pursue your own dreams.  As years go by though, and goals are check off, at the end of all the dreams come true, Mary May finds herself alone... I don't want to give it all away, so close your eyes and listen to it.  Click here to listen and enjoy the story of Mary May & Bobby.  I hope that it reminds you that success is nothing, if you don't have someone to share it with.   That vacations and travels, aren't nearly as fun without someone along for the ride.   Sometimes life surprises us, and the things that we thought we wanted, really aren't what we NEED. I believe that we need love.  And that we need to pursue our dreams and our goals. But I know that just as I have dreams of a career, I have personal dreams of my life with Mark.

I'm so thankful everyday that I have Mark.  I have hope that Mark & I will find that balance between personal goals and our relationship goals.  I believe that we can have careers, along with the old city home (still working on that one with him) with three dogs running around enjoy this life TOGETHER.  Although I'm finding this job hunt difficult with two people, it's completely worth it.  I know that life without the ones you love, is no life at a

Hi Everyone,

I needed a new blog and a new slate for some reason.  Strange, I know, since I'm using the exact format.  Oh well.  I know that with my last blog I didn't write much about my simple day-to-day life.  With this one, I hope to change that a little more.  I want to share a little more on what's going on with my life, family, friends, job hunt, wedding planning, etc.  Hopefully, it will be a little more personal.  Although I know that my life isn't filled with tons of excitement to read about, I hope that if you choose to read this you can get something small out of it.  Writing is my passion, and it's the best way  I can express myself....  it would make my day if one small thing clicked with you.  If something small inspired you. Or, if even for an instance, you look at something in a different view.  Please share your thoughts, and more importantly..  Enjoy!

Jess  

Jess