When you lose someone you love, the concept of time seems to change..  at least it has for me.  Before I went through such a tragic loss, time was simply not as valuable.  There was always another day to tell someone that I loved them.  Always another hello and another goodbye. Another day to chase a dream. Always another day to return a call.

But loss flipped my life upside down and forced me to reevaluate.  Loss and grief made me realize how unpredictable life is and how time can slip through our hands. It seems that we are always looking towards the future, when really all we have is now.  

It's hard to believe that it has been 21 months since I lost my Dad.   The longer that time goes by, the harder it seems to be.  You see, time only makes it more real.  Time has a way of making the one you love, that you lost, seem like such a distant memory.  

I have never tried to fix my grief or fix my emotions.  I think that the best thing I have done for myself is to allow my grief to find a resting place within my heart.  It serves as a reminder, a keeper of memories, and a tribute. 

Sometimes I feel that society thinks we should fix our grief and fix our emotions.  But, if you go around trying to fix or cover up what is truly a natural process, I believe you will have a harder time finding peace.  Grief is not about fixing something that is broken.  We are not broken because we grieve.  In fact, it seems to me that we are more broken if we don't grieve.  We grieve because we loved, because we miss, and must find peace.  

And by peace I don't mean that we forget about the ones that have left us physically.  By peace I mean the ability to move forward with this void in your life.  For me, peace has been understanding my grief, feeling my emotions, and knowing that this void won't be patched, mended, or replaced.  This understanding has allowed me to move forward, to honor my Dad, and left me thankful for the love that I have had.

Twenty one months doesn't mend the hole in my heart.  But, as I have learned, no amount of time ever will.  I just know that life is too short to not keep moving forward,  for myself and for my Dad.  Life is a cycle of beginnings and ends, and unfortunately, the cycle is the greatest gift in life and the hardest part in death.  If we wish to be find peace throughout life with all of its ups and downs, sadness, and tragedies we must learn not to try and always fix what is not broken.... but to adapt to change, embrace our emotions, and remember that there is no guarantee for tomorrow.