If Mark & I have kids, other than the cute one you see above, I'm going to teach them about love a little differently.

I want them to see that love is not just saying, "I love you". I want our kids to see, that in fact, those three little words mean almost nothing when they are followed by careless actions. I want them to know, that they shouldn't base someone's heart on what they say, but on what they do. Coming from someone who loves to write, and adores words, this is a hard thing for me to admit- that actions speak louder than words. I do take words to heart- I think that words are a powerful mover- but words don't MAKE love. At least, for me, this is what I have learned.

Love shouldn't be taught by one all encompassing word. Sometimes I think I think the word "love" shouldn't even be used. Love to me is many things- compassion, respect, a mutual understanding, a healing power of forgiveness, a source of strength, etc. The thing is, love takes all forms and fashion. From the family we love, to the significant other, to the friends we love- we don't have to say that we love these people for them to know. We show it our day to day actions, when reaching out, thinking about them, caring for them. Yet, so many people say I love you without having any of these qualities in their relationships. And so many relationships and friendships have these things, without using the word LOVE.

The word love can be full of false promises- people say it everyday and then shatter hearts. People make wedding vows everyday- and turn around and break those vows. This breaks my heart. I'm slowing learning that the people who know what it means to respect one another, to care for one another, to be there for one another through thick and thin don't need words to know what love is- they know love because it is shown to them, in actions, daily. They don't have to say the words to know what a commitment means. They don't have to make vows to stay true to the one they love.

Don't get me wrong. I value the word love and I value vows- but sometimes I feel as though I value compassion, respect, understanding, and forgiveness most of all, because these are all encompassing of what love REALLY is. People who possess these qualities, have a good heart, and know how to love. I have seen too many time false promises of love where there is distrust, disrespect, and coldness. How does that and love even go together?

My kids will learn compassion, respect, kindness, and understanding first and upmost. And from these qualities they will become LOVING people. They will put an emphasis on how they TREAT people.... EVERYONE, including strangers.... and not the promises that they whisper.

Words are powerful, but the actions that we do in love, to me, far outweigh anything that can be uttered.